An Essay on Pain by Sebastien - 2004-01-04 - 3:07 a.m.

So I thought about this. What does it mean? Love. People have always pointed out that love is synonymous to pain. I used to believe them. Then I started going out with my current girlfriend. I couldn't really see a reason to believe it anymore. Maybe this is a loophole or something, I thought. Maybe it's not ALWAYS true.

But while holding her today, I realized. It is true. No matter what, really. One day she'll be gone. Or I'll be gone. By breaking up or by death.

Neither of us have any long-term plans to breaking up. So I thought of it this way. If she dies, it'll hurt. Really badly. For a long time. Perhaps my whole life. And it's the same the other way around, if I were to die first, she'd be in pain.

There is no loophole.

She looked at me and asked me what was wrong, why was I crying all of a sudden when we were all smiles and kisses a few moments earlier.

"One day you'll be gone. Or I'll be gone. And that's when not everything will be okay."

"Shhhh, shhh, it's okay."

"No. It won't be."

Either I'm a sensitive fool and think too much about the future or I'm a smart man. Choose one. I choose the former.

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Brushes: Misguided.Buddha